I recently shared a new before and after on Facebook (stay tuned, I'll show you too!), and at the risk of sounding vain... I couldn't believe the attention it received. I was blown away by how impressed folks were, especially considering I've seen most of them recently while out in our local town.
Sometimes I forget that while my 'before' is very, very, very fresh in my own mind... it's not in others'.
Most days I have to remind myself that I've lost over a hundred pounds. I'm constantly holding myself back from things because I still see myself as the 'before' version of me. Though I'm more confident, I still have moments where I freeze in panic when I approach a new restaurant booth and am unsure if I fit. I'm always surprised when I do. It's as if my brain hasn't caught up to my body.
A great example of this was at a wedding I recently photographed. The church where they were married was one I had photographed another wedding in about five years ago. Long before I lost weight. During that ceremony I had tried to sit in the pews, but unfortunately the space between the pews was so small, that I couldn't fit. It was a long ceremony and I ended up exhausted by the end of it because I just... couldn't fit to sit. Fast forward to the wedding I did this September in that same church and queue the anxiety. I walked in with my breath caught in my throat as I eyed up the still-so-tiny space between. When we were instructed to sit for the first time, I stayed standing because I wasn't ready to attempt it again. I was so scared. However, soon after... I told myself that if I went the entire ceremony without trying I'd be more disappointed than if I don't fit again, so I tried. Lo and behold - I fit! I mentally screeched in celebration and couldn't to tell my sister all about it.
After speaking with many weight-loss success story individuals over the course of my journey so far, I've come to realize that this is incredibly common. So common, in fact, that there's a legitimate medical term for it.
While beginning the planning for this blog, I knew the disorder name but I wasn't really sure how to explain it properly as most of the articles I've found are very medical and relate more to those who feel they're too big when they aren't or they just simply feel they're ugly when there's absolutely nothing ugly about them. BDD can affect more than just those with extreme weight-loss, too. People who have lost smaller amounts are just as likely to be impacted by BDD, as it's rarely connected to the amount of weight lost. Luckily I found this incredible blog post found here that explains it perfectly, and I would encourage you to read as well.
"“While weight can quantified by a stepping on a scale, a person’s self-image is a more abstract thing,” Billings said. “Our beliefs, past experiences, relationships, cultural context and behavior all play a part in how we think and feel about ourselves.” If some of those areas haven’t changed despite the weight loss, he said, a person might still feel the same way about themselves as they did when they were heavier."
This really hit home for me. It really ties into my personal beliefs, too, that being overweight doesn't have to equal being unhappy, it just often does. I've met plenty of heavy guys and gals that are totally happy and in love with themselves! If you've read my story, you'll know that a huge part of my WHY is that I wanted to find happiness.
When I posted this before and after photo and the comments and likes flooded in, I was taken aback immediately. I still am. The last time I checked it was at over 260 likes! It shocked me that people were so surprised by my progress, I thought to myself... don't they see the girl on the left still when they see me? I know I do most days. As I'm getting ready for work and grabbing my favourite smallest-size-ever jeans, I still question if they'll really fit. Then they do. Honestly, most days they're too loose now too. When I'm shopping with my sister and she grabs me a size from the rack, I always argue with her and tell her to grab a bigger size. She never listens, of course, and naturally... she's always right. Please don't tell her I said that, for the love of all things good in this world, don't tell her.
It manifests itself in so many different ways. One night I remember sitting at home, I was feeling extra confident and decided to snap a selfie. When I looked at the result of the selfie I actually felt a tightening in my chest as I looked at the girl on my phone. I didn't recognize her. I felt the panic seep in as I stared at my "reflection" and couldn't stop trying to figure out who that girl was. I was uncomfortable and to be completely vulnerable with you, a little scared. I was scared because my brain and my eyes weren't lining up with reality. I thought there was something wrong with me. I ended up deleting that photo and not taking another that night.
I know that a big part of BDD comes from my mental health, which makes this blog even more perfect since we just celebrated National Mental Health Awareness Day. I'm so proud of the progress I've made in my journey physically, but also mentally. While I still struggle to see the current me instead of the old me, I do know that the progress I've made majorly out-weighs (ha-ha, puns) the struggles I still have.
"“Working on viewing oneself as a whole person with varying parts, interests and facets – as opposed to over-identifying with and/or attaching so much importance on the physical self – could also be helpful,” Billings said."
Starting today, October 12th, when this blog post is going live -- I'm making a promise to myself to actively work on this. Viewing myself as a whole, complete person. Because that's exactly what I am.
Thanks for reading and following along my journey!
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If you missed our last support webinar, we have a copy of it right here for you! In our latest free information session, Melanie has shared with you the top 7 Keto Mistakes You Are Making.
Love this flavor! Definitely appeals to my sweet tooth!
When I opened the bag I couldn't believe how GOOD it smells! It really smells just like fresh picked strawberries. And there are REAL Strawberry flecks in it!!! I watched Melanie's webinar and she said there were dried real strawberries in it, but I didn't realize she meant actual strawberries in it!! omg! I was kind of worried that it would taste like that nestle strawberry milk syrup but it doesn't - it just tastes like you are eating real strawberries. I love that it's not too sweet too. Anyway, if you are thinking about trying it and you like strawberries, you will love this one! I'm changing my monthly order now to make sure I get a bag every month along with the natural I use in everything I eat. I've lost about 7 pounds in the last two months and I just fit back into my favourite jeans again so I'm pumped to get to keep the weight off with strawberry now too! Thank you Nutracelle (and Melanie and Tracy!)
I absolutely love my new cookbook! Such a great selection of recipes and so far every single one I've made is fantastic! Thank you Melanie
The old nutralean was so good and the new blend is even better. Did not thing protein nutralean could get better man it’s better!! And my 2 & 1 year old know what I’m drinking and take my drink all the time for themselves. Love It!!!!
Absolutely loving the new formulas. They mix beautifully with water now... and they taste amazing!
I have trouble finding protein powder I don’t hate. I bought the cafe mocha and chocolate dream to try and didn’t expect to love it but I do!!! It was amazing! No weird after taste or texture. It also came with a shaker cup! I love that the ingredients are all things that I know. Plus it’s made in Canada!
Love these protein powders. Love the recipes...easy and quick!!!
So happy with my product. It’s a great product for anyone who’s on the go and always busy. I can rest easy knowing I’m getting good nutrients, that also taste yummy!
WOW!!! I’m sipping a Pumpkin Spice Smoothie as I’m typing this review. I received my order of the new formulas today and was excited to try it! I’m so impressed with the smooth, creamy consistency and the ease that it blends! 2 thumbs up from me!!!
This will hands down always be my go-to choice for anything protein related. I am glad it does not even taste like i am having a protein supplement. Since I don't enjoy eating meat often, this is the best alternative!
I love the taste! Even when you mix it with just water it has a creamy taste. You can do so much with the variety of flavours, you can not possibly get bored with Nutracelle!
Absolutely the best shake i have ever tried. Such great flavors... I love it! ☺
Product works when you follow guidelines. Always weighed at Doctor's office
believe it or not i've lost 51 lbs in 9 weeks. 30lbs to go...
My whole family loves Nutralean! Great taste and quick shipping.
Nutracelle products are great! Mixes amazingly! No grittiness like those other whey powders. Naturla Nutralean prebiotic protein for baking works awesome to make not just baking, but also make shakes and protein balls. The plain flavour allows incorporation into food without tasting that there is protein powder in it! I would recommend this product to those looking for a good quality protein powder!!
I can literally put it everywhere, whatever food i make i can add some natural protein in it, soup, bake goods, protein balls, pizza dough, etc.
Its amazing and so tasty
I have been in a stall between 208 and 202 for 5 months....in one week of being back on Nutracelle I am now in ONEDERLAND!
The taste and quality of nutracelle is absolutely unparalleled in the protein market. I recommend it to all my friends and family and having been using it daily for almost 2 years now. And still in love!
The Vanilla Cream is a great flavour added to any of my favourite smoothie recipes! Also makes a nice tasting pancake recipe.
Natural Nutralean from Nutracelle is the perfect protein to add to your food!! There is no added taste!! I made a zucchini meat pasta and added 2 scoops of Natural into my meat sauce!! Not only did it give me and my family all the protein we needed for dinner, but it cut back our portion sizes because we felt fuller faster! We have leftovers now for lunches!! I am so happy with my Nutracelle!
The Vanilla Mocha from Nutracelle is to die for!!! If you are like me and need my coffee every morning to function...then this is for you, as it will give you all the energy you need!! It even taste just like something I can get from Tim Horton's but this is good for you to drink every morning!! This is a must for coffee lovers!!!
The Chocolate Dream Protein from Nutracelle is soooo good. Chocolate is my all time favourite snack and with Nutracelle I am able to make these delicious desserts that are actually good for you! This is a must flavour to have!!
Meal plan is realistic and absolutely manageable. My coach checks in post every workout to see if there is any area I struggle in or if maybe the routine was too easy. He is quick at answering any questions I have and is very knowleageable with nutrition and what my body needs to eat and can explain it to me in various ways to make sure I understand as well. I have never worked with someone who is so passionate about fitness and proper nutrition as well as someone who is on top of everything. App is also very user-friendly; super easy to log everything in with a few click so that you dont have to do it urself on paper. Absolutely thrilled to be working with this team to better my fitness life. Highly recommend joining the team!
Nutracelle's Weight Loss kit has made such a huge impact on my life! I was a junk food junky before I found Nutracelle, and now I don't even think about it! It's been months since I've had any kind of junk and I've never felt better! More energy, tons of weight loss, and I've dropped 2 clothing sizes too!! AMAZING!
The weightloss kit has enabled me to wake up each morning knowing that I've got this!! For the first time in my life I've found something that allows me to feel full and satisfied and I can bake and cook with it to curb cravings I have for junky foods! In my first two months I'm down 15 pounds and dropping. Almost everyday there is a decrease on the scale I couldn't be happier!! I'm looking forward to continued success THANK YOU NUTRACELLE!
Nutracelle is the best product I have ever used for protein. All the flavours are fantastic, can't taste the protein. Since I started to take Nutracelle I have consistent energy throughout the day, it keeps me full and satisfied. My recovery from my workouts and running is fantastic. Recommend this product to anyone wanting to lose weight, athletes or to increase your protein intake daily.
Shakes are amazing. I just mix them with (sugar-free) milk and have no problem drinking them. Like at all! I even love the chocolate. I never ever love chocolate protein shakes haha
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I'm losing weight and inches, I have so much more energy and it makes me happy! Nutracelle is giving me my life back! #ilovenutracelle
Nutracelle has been the one product that has kept me on track with my weight loss journey. So easy to incorporate into my daily routine and it tastes amazing! Almost all of my immediate family all use and love Nutracelle too!
It tastes amazing & reduces cravings! I'm breastfeeding and was finding my cravings worse than when I was pregnant. I needed something to eat with my meals to help me stay full, be nutritious and curb cravings. This is it!