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What does fear mean to you? Gillian's Journey

What does Fear mean to you? 

Happy Wednesday everyone!

I'm just going to jump right in here today and talk about “Fear”. You may be thinking “what does fear have to do with weight loss?” Well a few days ago , I was chatting with my friend Kay, and the topic came up. Being overweight for most of my life, I've come to realize that “fear” was my worst enemy on my weight loss journey. Fear of failing but also fear of succeeding.

Let me elaborate.

In my early to mid 20’s , I went on a dietician controlled meal plan. I lost 105 pounds over a period of 2-3 years and managed to keep it off for several more years. Then life happened and I slowly started putting the weight back on. I felt like a complete failure. Thus began the vicious cycle of depression and comfort eating. I was abusing my body with food. In hindsight, I think I was punishing myself with food for being such a failure. Every attempt to lose weight after that was always sabotaged with the fear of failing yet again.

So, now you’re probably wondering about my fear of success. It's a little more complex than fear of failure. I mean, don't we all want to be successful at feeling and looking better through weight loss?
Well, I wore my “fat” like a suit of armour. It padded and protected me my whole life. My fat kept me from having to deal with men and relationships and the broken hearts that go with them. If I were fat and unattractive, maybe I would be safe from sexual assaults and abuse. (Being brutally honest here). I lived in my protective bubble for many years. My fat was my safety net. It was hard to think of letting it go. Success would mean HAVING to let it go. Shedding the weight would make me feel naked and vulnerable again and that was scary!

It took losing the 2 people who loved me unconditionally, my mom and dad, to open my eyes to my destructive lifestyle. Since their passing, I've had a lot of time to soul search. I realized I needed to try and break the cycle of diabetes and heart disease that they suffered with. I finally came face to face with my “demons” that have literally kept me grounded my whole life, a life where I was meant to fly!

It’s all been a rough road back, but one I needed to take. It’s been a journey to an awakening in my soul and a new love for life! I'm not afraid anymore. “I” am in control!

Since starting my new Nutracelle lifestyle, I'm feeling stronger and healthier, both physically and mentally. Nutracelle has given me the tools to move forward and be successful, to be the person I was meant to be. The delicious smoothies, recipes for yummy treats AND meals have been a life changer for me.

Please join me again next time for more “real” talk on weight loss and healthy living with Nutracelle!!

I wanted to share some photos of the Chocolate Chip Cookies I made using Vanilla Nutralean. I never feel deprived on this protein. I LOVE that! You can find this recipe in the “More Than Smoothies” cookbook!